Yesterday I went to see Juno. http://www.foxsearchlight.com/juno/

with C. It was fun. I like going to movies that have kind of “quirky but meaningful” with him. Of course I didn’t tell my mum, she doesn’t approve of me going out with him, or anyone for that matter, but mostly him. I can’t blame her though. He doesn’t do good in school (even though he’s practically a genius), he does drugs because he “likes to have fun.” He won’t cut his past shoulder length hair and gets into trouble. Some how I like him enough to go with it. I’d like to think I have a big effect on him because he’s decided to stop doing drugs as much. That’s a start. He wants to do good in school because I have a bright future and do do good in school.

And another thing. He loves me.

No, I’m not assuming. He told me so. I’m not entirely sure I believe it, because it’s been what almost only 6 months.  I’m not sure if he can say he loves me after 6 months. Needless to say I realized a while ago that I have slowly fallen in love with him. I didn’t want him to be in love with me, because our break up seems almost immanent and I don’t want it to hurt more than it has to. I know it seems cynical to think that way but I’m fourteen and what fourteen year old has ever stayed with they’re boyfriend for the rest of their lives?

But anyways, it went like this…

We were on the subway coming back from the movie Juno and he had his arm around me and was noticing little things about me such as “when did you get these earrings?”(“last Christmas”) and he was playing with my hair (which incidentally he doesn’t want me to cut shorter), and I was curious so I asked him what he was thinking.

C- Guess

M-I can’t guess, just tell me

C- I can’t tell you, you have to guess.

M- But I can’t guess. Iwas never good at guessing games (which actually I am but him near me makes it hard to think)

C-Yes you are, just guess. I know you can guess.

M-No, I can’t. Why can’t you just tell me?

C- Because…because I just can’t.

M-Why not?

C-I can’t!

(this carried on until we got off the subway and were standing outside the subway. p.s. none of this conversation was done yelling, we haven’t actually yelled at one another since last summer and that was actually a misunderstanding.)

Once we were outside the subway and I had to go meet my mum and K at Chapters about 6 minutes before. We said good bye, which is usually a long hug, unless we’re some where where we know my mum can’t see us. Then it’s pretty much a kiss and then a make out session but thats the un-romantic way of thinking about it. I looked up and let him kiss me. Then he said “you guessed” and so I said “I guessed right.” Then we kissed for a while. (C’s been trying to get me more used to admitting that I like him and that I liked him before we became a couple) So, while we we’re kissing he said “I love you”. I was shocked. I really didn’t expect that! Guys don’t say I love you. Alright so that was stereo typing “guys” but C doesn’t seem like that kind of guy. Altough when he’s with me he’s so different from when we used to be just friends.

Anyways, I went through a million things in a milli second.

*What! Oh my god, what do I say. I like him right? A lot and Lara thinks I’m in love with him. Do I love him? Is it too soon? I don’t know, am I unsure? I don’t want to be unsure. I’m not unsure. I’m never unsure.*

And then…

“I love you,” *kiss* “too,”.

I was soo happy after that. I was floating. He loves me. I just hope it’s real.

In love, Moi