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Yesterday my mum caught me with C. Long story short, no movies for 6 weeks, C can’t call for 1 month, I can only have my cell phone when I got out and I can’t go out with C anymore. That part hurt the most. It hurt soo bad. I was completely numb. It hadn’t hit me until mum made me call him and tell him. That was painful. I was crying so much. My mum thinks he’s trying to take advantage of me, he’s not. He loves me and doesn’t want anything bad to happen to me, or us. He was begging me not to break it off with him and I really love him and don’t want to. We decided to take a one month break since we can’t talk on the phone for a month and then see what happens. We’ll also e-mail. My mum doesn’t know this and no way in hell am I going to let her hurt me again. It still hurt soo bad, my heart feels broken and I can’t cry anymore because I have no tears left.
I love you C, Moi
Today is December 26, 2007. As some people know better. It’s boxing day! woot. woot. I prefer “the day after Christmas” it keeps the whole Christmas spirit in the air! I did end up getting my red, 3rd generation, ipod nano as well as Pirates of the Caribbean 3, a Cube World, and other misc stuff. I love Christmas. Especially that whole warm, happy feeling that comes with it! <3
I talked to C yesterday too! He called me at midnight. He got a new mp3, so he can’t complain that I have an ipod now.
Anyways, as we talked we were saying how I think I’m different. That something was off. and something is. Somethings not right and it’s giving me a knot in my stomach. I’ve decided that 2008 is going to be an eventful and interesting year.
Then C said how he thought he was a terrible person. I told him he wasn’t. The he said “you don’t know the half of it,” so I said “ignorance is bliss”. I don’t think he’s a terrible person. I think he’s just someone who’s a little messed up right now. A whole bunch of other stuff was said. He told me that since he decided not to smoke anything (which was a while ago, when we were talking about it and I was completely dissapproving) he hasn’t smoked anything. He said he was proud of himself. i told him I was proud of him too. It makes me soo happy to think that I’m the reason he’s chosen not to do drugs. He’s so sweet sometimes.
And then I said something kind of stupid:
“C?”
“Yeah?”
“Nevermind.”
“Tell me.”
“No, it’s alright.”
“C’mon, please tell me.”
“…”
“well?”
“What do you think about dances?”
“Dances? Like how? A specific dance? or an UFA dance?”
“Just, what do you think about them?”
“Uh… it mostly depends on who I’m with, where it is. Stuff like that. People have a lot to do with how I like a dance. I suppose I like them alright.”
“Okay. I need to talk to L and B.”
“Why? Is there a dance?”
“Nevermind. I’ll get back to you.”
“Please tell me.”
“Fiinne. Hypothetically, theres a dance. Hosted by UFA. It’d be in Febuary, probably on the 12th because UFA holds dances the tuesday before the holiday it’s for because you know how we goin late Wednesday morning. Anyways, it’dbe for Valentines. Themed Black, white and red… one more thing…it’d be semi-formal-ish.”
“…”
“???”
“So, do you want me to come? or take you? or…”
“I don’t know. I don’t know much about this dance.”
“Semi?”
“No jeans.”
“Hm…if you want me to take you I could. Is it during the day, or what?”
“It’s at night, at some place that UFA has yet to decide because Student Council isn’t good at that.”
“Alright. If you want me to.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Me: HAPPY DANCING! No, I didn’t say that, I happy danced. He’s soo good to me. I really do love him quite a bit… <3.
Other news:
Guess who I saw at the movie theatre (I went to see the Golden Compass with K and mum. I completely give it 5 stars). I saw T. My ex-crush. I had a huge crush on him from 7th grade into half of eighth grade. He’s taller now. He was there with his twin and some other kid. It was so wierd. I nearly walked right into him. I’m pretty sure he saw me too. He looked the same. Looked like he acts the same to. I’m happy for him and relieved that there are no feelings. Well I have no feelings for him. Not sure about the other way around. Anyways, at the end of eighth grade he was going out with this other girl. Though I’m sure they’ve broken up because she’s going out with this emo kid.
Going to go listen to my ipod,
ttyl, Love, and Merry Christmas…Moi!
Well it’s Christmas Time again. We all know. Some say it’s a commercial holiday. I saw it’s a beautiful time of year that gives everyone a warm feeling inside. So, since I doubt I’ll be writing in the next few days, Merry Christmas!
Love,Love,Love and Happy Holidays, Moi.
Maybe you watch the news, read tabloids, gossip a lot but you must have heard the “ground breaking news” oh my god, Jamie Lynn Spears, 16, sister of Britney Spears, is pregnant by her boyfriend Casey Aldridge,19.
And your opinion and judgement are….
Personally I think everyone who’s trashing Jamie Lynn Spears can go to hell. She’s a human being who happened to have sex without a condom. She made a mistake!
I was browsing Youtube to find idiots who I could yell at about this and I found a video. It was posted by what looked like a freakin’ 12 year old. What does she know? Watch the video: search “jamie lynn spears pregnant” and look for a video by the user slicklock.
My response to it:
You have no right to judge whether Jamie Lynn Spears is going to be a good mother or not. And even though the baby is an accident, most babies are, that doesn’t mean that they’re loved any less! Jamie Lynn made a mistake and now she’s taking responsibility. She doesn’t need people trashing and dissing her. Especially people who have no idea what they’re talking about and look like they’re 12! What she needs now is support from her fans. If your not a fan then fine, shut up! It’s only now that everyone is outraged that a sixteen year old is pregnant. Teenage pregnancy happens all the time, just because its happened to a celebrity that everyone is hyped up about it. I realize that she was a role model for younger “tweens” (my sister is 11) but now she can be a role model for for pregnant teens. She can still be a role model for tweens because I think kids need to have role models that show that they’re human who make mistakes and aren’t prefect.
What I’m extremely annoyed and upset about is that now Jamie is being grouped together with Britney Spears, her sister. Jamie has never been in the news for anything but good, until now. Jamie seems to be a little more grounded than Britney.
On another note:
Casey Aldridge,19, to be charged with statutory rape? I don’t think he should be. I understand that in some states its illegal for a 19 year old to have sex with a 16 year old but it was both they’re decision and they’re taking responsibility.
If I decide I have more to say on the subject of Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy, I’ll write more. But for now I say “I don’t approve of Jamie Lynn getting pregnant, but I’m going to support her because that is what she needs right now.”
In Love and hate, Support Jamie, Moi
Yesterday I went to see Juno. http://www.foxsearchlight.com/juno/
with C. It was fun. I like going to movies that have kind of “quirky but meaningful” with him. Of course I didn’t tell my mum, she doesn’t approve of me going out with him, or anyone for that matter, but mostly him. I can’t blame her though. He doesn’t do good in school (even though he’s practically a genius), he does drugs because he “likes to have fun.” He won’t cut his past shoulder length hair and gets into trouble. Some how I like him enough to go with it. I’d like to think I have a big effect on him because he’s decided to stop doing drugs as much. That’s a start. He wants to do good in school because I have a bright future and do do good in school.
And another thing. He loves me.
No, I’m not assuming. He told me so. I’m not entirely sure I believe it, because it’s been what almost only 6 months. I’m not sure if he can say he loves me after 6 months. Needless to say I realized a while ago that I have slowly fallen in love with him. I didn’t want him to be in love with me, because our break up seems almost immanent and I don’t want it to hurt more than it has to. I know it seems cynical to think that way but I’m fourteen and what fourteen year old has ever stayed with they’re boyfriend for the rest of their lives?
But anyways, it went like this…
We were on the subway coming back from the movie Juno and he had his arm around me and was noticing little things about me such as “when did you get these earrings?”(“last Christmas”) and he was playing with my hair (which incidentally he doesn’t want me to cut shorter), and I was curious so I asked him what he was thinking.
C- Guess
M-I can’t guess, just tell me
C- I can’t tell you, you have to guess.
M- But I can’t guess. Iwas never good at guessing games (which actually I am but him near me makes it hard to think)
C-Yes you are, just guess. I know you can guess.
M-No, I can’t. Why can’t you just tell me?
C- Because…because I just can’t.
M-Why not?
C-I can’t!
(this carried on until we got off the subway and were standing outside the subway. p.s. none of this conversation was done yelling, we haven’t actually yelled at one another since last summer and that was actually a misunderstanding.)
Once we were outside the subway and I had to go meet my mum and K at Chapters about 6 minutes before. We said good bye, which is usually a long hug, unless we’re some where where we know my mum can’t see us. Then it’s pretty much a kiss and then a make out session but thats the un-romantic way of thinking about it. I looked up and let him kiss me. Then he said “you guessed” and so I said “I guessed right.” Then we kissed for a while. (C’s been trying to get me more used to admitting that I like him and that I liked him before we became a couple) So, while we we’re kissing he said “I love you”. I was shocked. I really didn’t expect that! Guys don’t say I love you. Alright so that was stereo typing “guys” but C doesn’t seem like that kind of guy. Altough when he’s with me he’s so different from when we used to be just friends.
Anyways, I went through a million things in a milli second.
*What! Oh my god, what do I say. I like him right? A lot and Lara thinks I’m in love with him. Do I love him? Is it too soon? I don’t know, am I unsure? I don’t want to be unsure. I’m not unsure. I’m never unsure.*
And then…
“I love you,” *kiss* “too,”.
I was soo happy after that. I was floating. He loves me. I just hope it’s real.
In love, Moi
Christmas is almost here! I’m really excited, it’s in about 16 days!!!!!!!! I’m getting an Ipod for Christmas and also it’s that everyone is sooo nice and great during Christmas!
I’ve decided to buy presents for J,L and C and little candies or something for everyone else! :P
No idea what to get J, but I’ll ask him. Same with C. L i’ll get her something awesome that she’ll like and that’ll inhance her personality. I love her sooo much, she’s my bff! but seriously. I want her to be her, but in a better more grown up way.
I’ll write more later, I got to go do hourssss and hoouuurrss of homework!
Kisses, Moi!
Currently Listening to: Please Don’t Stop The Music – Rihanna
So, I’ve decided that now is the time to tell you all thats happened recently to me:
———————————————————— Read the rest of this entry »
I’m sorry I’m such a procrastinator.
Next time I have time I’ll tell you about how my mother thought I was on drugs, how she caught me sitting on my roof, and then took away my matches. Also how I went to Yorkdale mall and now hate the TTC. Also, how I hung out with C yesterday and ran into him today. There’s so much to update you on, even about school. Projects, people, fun! Right now I don’t really want to write it all out, but the next time I have time I’ll type up a very, very long post!
Choi, Moi
Wow! This is probably one of the only posts I’ve written during awake hours! it’s 12:30…PM!
I’ve decided to be complicated and love it! Just enjoy life and every emotion and anything I want to do I will!!!!!!!
Life is freakin awesome and people should enjoy it. Some say that people should slow down and enjoy it all, some say if you don’t go fast you won’t see it all. I’m in between. Go thru life quickly but stop and love every important, special and awesome moment!
For instance, last night I didn’t go to sleep because sometimes I just don’t sleep, so I watched a bunch of movies, (Walk the Line, Stranger than Fiction, Moulin Rouge, Rent) and ate breakfast. Then my mum asked me if I wanted to help he shovel all the wonderful, beautiful, amazing snow, I of course said yes. Joe and I got our coats and went outside where he hung out with me as I shovled. It made it alot easier and funner to have your Imaginary Friend with you through hard and boring stuff! :P
Update you more on my life later!
Love, Love, Love <3, Moi
Lately I’ve been feeling very emo.
I feel like I need to do more with my life. Think about the present, not about the past or very far into the future.
I need a new life.
New philosopy, new style, new outlook on life.
We’ll see how this goes…
Love, Moi
